Special friends

This post is dedicated to all those guys who are “special friends” with one girl or more. Here is me, Anup, sympathetically empathizing with your piteous state of mind and thereby offering you’ll my sincerest condolences. I know how you feel and I wish to speak for our kind today. Our kind, the male race that is. Stupid that we are! What I’ve noticed over due course of observation and scientific research conducted on myself again through careful observation and timely misjudgments is that I cannot find that muse which blessed me with the so said luck of being a man. its difficult being a girl/women, they’d tell you. I’d want to know why. I really do! Agreed that you’re the mother but please! spare yourself that embarrassment. We already know that. I’d want to discuss on the following (considering that most part of my readers would be either Indians or random stray spam but even that, I’d expect for them to be from India)

– Don’t you’ll have the option to say no? To each and everything that comes your way these days?
– Don’t you get reduced IT bills?
– Don’t you have reservations everywhere you’ll go? The freakin’ bus even!
– More recently, reservations for you’ll in the government. What in the name of god?

Most importantly, and todays prime point – Don’t you decide the fate of friendship? Yes, thats right; with a guy. I don’t quite care about your girl friends but the guys, how is it that you always have the glorious power and unarguable ability to move from acquaintance to friend to something more and then suddenly to “special friend” out of nowhere? Alright, now, I’d want to explain of what I’ve drawn thus far from the title of a “special friend” To begin with, I’d like to define it like Wren and Martin would. Special friend – being verb; a guy, point to note, special friends are useable in any form or kind until they deteriorate into nothing but a moulded form of flubber which can thereby be thrown around to please one’s heart or cause an effect on the walls; uhm, just for fun.

I’d want to try and understand something and thats precisely why I’m going to put this up for public ridicule and contempt. This is something I’ve learnt over a period of careful observation and I might be wrong or in fact, I am wrong but then, here is what I’ve noticed. Its practically impossible for that guy and this girl to be “just friends” or “special friends” this is just two hypocrites trying to hide the obvious. Deal with it! Like they said in one of those old hindi movies… yeah, that same old line. Please! For the love of god, there is no special friendship. You’re either friends with me, where the both of us are under the mercy of natural selection to be mates or else, just go our own ways, kapiche? Its seriously silly to do the we-are-close-friends-and-nothing-more thing. Sup with that? Question to you girls – help me understand; when you know that this guy ain’t for you; Why would you? a) Fall all over him and give him the jiggle? b) Not miss an opportunity to show him that you care? c) Add those killing sweet words here there in your messages – the love you’s and the miss you’s and ohh on some occasions *kisses and sweets* hell yeah! I’ve seen even that. d) Let him reach the point where he finally gives in and says the final line that makes him the worst kinda person you ever met, “I think I am falling…”

Uhh? What? (thats the expression) “How could you even think of this? Don’t you know we’re special friends?” or maybe “I never thought of you that way…” this is golden and ohh the, “You’re a nice guy, but… family!?” Seriously! Help me understand, as if you did not know that all this was coming? Isn’t this all just a silly game? A thrill? A power ride? I don’t quite understand the sadistic pleasure you get out of doing this to a guy. Now, I totally understand that there are guys out there with the charm and grace required to catch you off guard and put you through misery but I’m not one of those and I’m not talking in reference to those guys. I’m talking in reference with us commoners. The one’s who might have a little paunch, the nerdy-geeky ones, the stupid ones and the ones you know will easily fall for all your antiques! Common, you know those paavams* hanging around hoping for you to look at them. Spare them the pain, will you?

Alright, I think I’m going to wrap this up. I’ve got a couple of special friends who’d probably kick my ass for this! Peace out suckers and yes, remember, there is no such thing; its all a mirage. They are not for real. Look clear and keep your ears open. I don’t ask for anyone to be cynical assholes but I guess, we should learn from our mistakes thus far. Draw a line somewhere; be it in friendship or anything else. Value yourself. Its alright to give in if she’s the worth the pain else, RUN! Don’t stand there and stare at her like a zombie. Dont let that scary meduse turn you into stone. Use your brain and read all the signs. Use your brains and all those hidden senses. Finally, if you fail, don’t worry – you’d find yourself writing a post like this somewhere down the years. I understand, we have an incorrigible heart and mind. I hate it when they win; always, time and again. Hail womaniacs!

-Anup

P.S: I know the part where I spoke about less IT and reservation in the government is out of place, but uhm, I just wanted to put it in there. Its sad! I dont understand WHY! And yes, I’ll be around more often!