Happy birthday to me!

I don’t feel too different! Hmmm, should I be feeling any different? Don’t know; don’t care. I’m 25 now and I’ve outgrown another year. The world I live in isn’t as godforesaken as I thought it was. Its sweet sometimes and bitter the other times. I’ve learnt that for all the times I feel happy and content – there are gloomy days waiting to be explored. Thats one of gods unsolveable puzzles and no math; no mind can solve the co-relation between joy and grief! I for one, have learnt some very important lessons throughout chapter 24 and I’m going to forget the last 2 years of my life. They have been amazingly joyous at times and killingly painful on other occasions. My gig hence on is going to be limited to include only me and I’m going to make matter out of whatever abstract, invisible rather light sets of beauty I have left around me! Did that make sense to anyone? Uhm, I’m going to make ME matter! I’m important and I’m nice. I’m not what others think of me. I am what I make out of me. I’m going to live life – Mt. Everest size.

I turned 25 yesterday – 3rd July 2008. The celebrations were little but very satisfying. I sang my heart out and I felt good about it. All thanks to Ajay though. He gave me the push I required to walk up and sing. The whole thing was amazing. I’d start off with these pictures:

We visited the beach. It was one of the most satisfying birthdays I’ve ever had cause I sang for myself and I sang the song I love a lot. Ajay arranged it all up with the help of his DJ friend at the beach. He sang a few songs too, which ruled as usual and he then went on to tell everyone present that it was my birthday and that I’d be singing next. Good, I got everyone’s attention and I begin with telling everyone about how naive I am to Karaoke singing and that I’m no good at it; thats when I noticed that people were really supportive of Karaoke and that they wouldn’t mind if I wasn’t as good as Ajay. So sing I did… and it was awesome! Ajay proceeded to sing some more songs and Hemant gave him company with beer. So, overall, a very good way to end my special day and it was very fulfilling. Thanks once again to Ajay and Hemant for being there.

I’m going to Pune tomorrow. Driving down with Fahd and I’m fairly excited about going home. I’m still creeped out about going back, but then, its ok I guess. Its better to face your fears than run away. So, I’d be there upto the 9th and I guess I deserve this break. I wouldn’t be around till then. I’m driving in the rain, so other things are possible too *winks* The ringing of the division bell has begun.

This is a dedication to myself:

Beyond the horizon of the place we lived when we were young
In a world of magnets and miracles
Our thoughts strayed constantly and without boundary
The ringing of the division bell had begun

Along the Long Road and on down the Causeway
Do they still meet there by the Cut

There was a ragged band that followed in our footsteps
Running before time took our dreams away
Leaving the myriad small creatures trying to tie us to the ground
To a life consumed by slow decay

The grass was greener
The light was brighter
With friends surrounded
The nights of wonder

Looking beyond the embers of bridges glowing behind us
To a glimpse of how green it was on the other side
Steps taken forwards but sleepwalking back again
Dragged by the force of some inner tide

At a higher altitude with flag unfurled
We reached the dizzy heights of that dreamed of world

Encumbered forever by desire and ambition
There’s a hunger still unsatisfied
Our weary eyes still stray to the horizon
Though down this road we’ve been so many times

The grass was greener
The light was brighter
The taste was sweeter
The nights of wonder
With friends surrounded
The dawn mist glowing
The water flowing
The endless river

Forever and ever

-Anup