What do you want from me?

So what do you want from me? Here, me (I) is a collective reference to us men and you is a collective reference to the context –  women!

I’ll repeat the question again, just for kicks and so that there is no confusion: What do you want from me? What is it that you need? What makes you happy? Is it love that you need or space is what will fulfill your ever growing desire to be more like us? What do you mean by freedom? What is it that you need independance from? Where do you want to go? What do you want? If you can’t tell me about what you want from me, at least tell me what is it that you want? I’ll help, I’m sure I will. Mostly because I need you and you are irreplaceable. You cannot be subtituted for anything. I’ll do anything that’d make you happy. It’d stay like that forever. I will do anything within my power to make sure that you get what you want. I am supposed to take care of you. I feel you’re tender and that you need to be protected; does that make me a bad person? Does it put me in the gathering of losers you’d call MCP’s? Male chauvinist pigs? How am I a chauvinist when all I do is love you? I’m worried about your cause! Why? Why do you feel the need to reach “shoulder to shoulder” with me? Don’t you understand or is it that you’re blind to not see that you’re way above like you’ve always been? Or is it just that you’re scared to agree that you need live upto the powers given to you!? Do you find it difficult to accept that you’re a woman? You’re the reason my heart beats! Troubles you ehh?

I was talking to Pooja 10 days ago when I was at Ajay’s and she began her conversation like this, “Hi Anup! How are you? Are you still the same old sexist bastard?” What I think about women and what most good men think about them is as I’ve mentioned above. I think of you as a precious flower. I describe you as being tender, calm and beautiful. You’re fragrance and your voice; they rule my life. What I don’t understand is about your apathy towards what I feel for you! I’ve always wanted to write about this and I always avoided it cause I was worried about how it’d affect your sentiments, but I’m not worried anymore – I need to know. For fucks sake, what is it that you want?

I’m insensitive if I walk away and don’t listen to you. I’m not loving if I don’t buy you expensive goods. I’m not a good companion if I don’t display my affection. I don’t understand you and your ambitions if I ask you to stick with me. The other way around – I am intrusive if I ask you a lot of questions. I’m being fake and I’m hiding something if I buy you expensive gifts. I’m being horny if I display my affection. I don’t care about you and I’m not worried about missing you if I ask you to carry on with your career. I cannot expect anything from you; that’d make me demanding. And finally, you’d consider me to be a good companion only if I be able to share you with your friends and mine? How does this justify anything? What is all this?

What the fuck is wrong with you’ll huh?! To begin with, I’m not a sexist bastard. Infact, I’m nowhere close. I’m just a confused soul who happened to meet a few women who turned out to be animals I couldn’t care for! Ohh yes, most of you’ll would ask me to save this crap for a mammal that cares. Well, I’m a mammal that cares and I’d like to make myself clear about what I feel. TRY and understand the world around you. The world around you is something YOU made out of it. You procreated. You have been given the power, ohh yes, the biological weapon to create more like you and me! Now, isn’t that what god does too? So how is it that you don’t see where you stand? How and why would you want to lower yourself down to where I am? I am way below you, why don’t you see? I look up to you for almost everything I need. You’re the mother, the sister, the wife, the daughter and everything else. You run my life. What more do you want? I don’t understand.

Now I know that this question would probably have been put up by a lot of scholars and answers are still being sought, but I’d like to voice in my own thoughts here, just to let you’ll know that your presence in my life is something I cannot do without. My love for you cannot be quantified. You and me can never be equals. NEVER; forever! Do you read me? We are different. We have been made differently by our common creator and he/she surely had a reason for it. Sex, I assume. Whatever! But however hard you and I try, we cannot just be “human beings” we are two different sexes. Lets try and see simple things and not cry about what we don’t have. Don’t you see what you DO have? Now, I’m talking about a normal class of people and I talk to you as this friendly neighbourhood guy who is confused about your attempts to attain supreme power! I cannot comment on the countless women out there who are being tortured everyday and thats because I don’t have it in me to help them out. There are anomalies and opressive assaholistic men are all over the world. And I cannot better this world. I’m just talking to the class of people who might read this blog. Think about it – what do you guys want?

Yours confused,

-Anup